For Once I Want to Watch a Sappy Romance and Not Vomit

Corny is cute...when you're coupled up.

Believe me, I long for the day when I can coo over cookie-cutter romantic comedies with far-fetched plots.  When I can watch the male love interest say lines no man would dare say in real life and think, "Wow!" When I can watch how the couple meets for the first time on accident because the man's dog escaped his grasp, ran miles and miles to the airport, snuck on a plane and somehow ended up at the top of the Empire State Building, only to be saved by the female love interest, just as the man tracks the dog to the very same spot with his GPS system that he (fortunately) just so happened to have implanted in the dog's butt as a puppy, and cry tears of joy.

But, this is not the case. 

As a single woman, I am forced to face reality.

And, reality bites.

Yesterday, I watched the movie, He's Just Not That Into You.

I was excited about it...looking forward to it.  (I admit that when it first came out, I had no interest in seeing it because I thought it would be, well, corny.)  But, all of my friends who'd seen the movie raved about it.  EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. Even my single friends...those traitors. (LOL.)

"You'll love it!!! Earl said.

"It's awsome. So true." added Tara.

"One of the best movies eva!" Shana said.

 

And still more...

 

I don't get it.

 

After the first five minutes of the film, I'd already predicted the ending. Hence, I began losing interest.  In fact, toward the end of the movie I began to think aloud, "AAAA! This is such a long movie! When will it be over?"

 

The book by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo far surpasses the movie.  The book stuck to its clear purpose: wake women up to the reality (there's that word again) of their situation: he doesn't like you if...

 

The movie version, on the other hand, simply follows the lives of several people on their humdrum relationship journeys...just like every other predictable, corny movie of this same genre.  I didn't laugh. I didn't cry (well, I almost did...from sheer boredom), and I just didn't like it.

 

Yes, it's true, the movie had an all-star cast (Jennifer Aniston, Ben Affleck, Drew Barrymore, and Scarlett Johansson, to name a few), but the script had nothing much going for it.  I mean, really, it'd be difficult for anyone to attempt a screenplay out of the book, because of the way it was written. (Note to screenwriters: EVERY book should NOT be made into a movie.)

 

Nobody really finds love the way the characters do. 

 

Nobody really says the things they do:

Alex: Look, I can't stop thinking about you. I...It's a problem. I drive by your place; I call and hang up; I've turned into...
Gigi: Me.
Alex: Yeah.
Gigi: A wise person once told me that if a guy wants to be with a girl, he will make it happen, no matter what.
Alex: That's true.
Gigi: But when I was hurling my body onto yours, you did not seem to want to make it happen.
Alex: Okay, yeah, here's the thing about that... You were right. I'd gotten so used to keeping myself at a safe distance from all these women and having the power that, that I didn't know what it felt like when I actually fell for one of them... I didn't know.
Gigi: Look, I just went out with your friend Bill. He might be just exactly what I need. No drama, he calls; he does what he says...
Alex: [stepping closer] I can do that stuff too...
Gigi: But you didn't! And that same wise person told me that I'm the rule. That I have to stop thinking that every guy will change, that I have to stop thinking that...
Gigi: [Alex kisses her]
[smiles]
Gigi: ... I'm the exception...
Alex: [whispers] You are *my* exception.
[they kiss again]

 

* quotes courtesy of IMDB

 

No man actually tells a woman he's not into her and then appears on her doorstep to confess his love that he, of course, didn't recognize his true feelings for her, until she threw herself at him and made him realize.

 

("You are my exception." Really??? Seriously??? That's your line???)

 

I'm about to be sick again...

 

 

 

 

 

What did you all think of the movie?