Dear Future Husband...Sorry, I Have Standards

"You're single because you have too many standards," my co-worker told me over lunch one day.  I almost choked on my Doritos.

"Seriously?" I thought to myself. Too many standards?  Excuse me for realizing my self-worth and refusing to settle for some non-educated, lazy, humorless man. (Can I get an "Amen"?)

I could see it if I shot down any man who wasn't precisely 6'5", with mahogany tinted skin (no lighter, no darker), drove anything but a Benz, and made nothing less than $98,000 a year. But, responsibility? Ambitions? Class?

I tried to explain to her that I refuse to settle for anyone who doesn't have the same morals as I do, the same, or similar educational philosophy, the same, or similar family beliefs,etc...and who I'm not attracted to. (Don't lie to yourself, or others, and pretend that this doesn't matter...it does.)

OK, I know that there are some people out there who do indeed have too many stipulations for a mate; however, standards and stipulations are two very different things.  According to the American Heritage Dictionary, standards are "morals, ethics, and habits established by an individual as acceptable", while stipulations are "conditions or demands in an agreement".

I have standards:

1. My man must be outgoing, intelligent, and have a sense of humor.

2. My man must have a job (I do understand layoffs; however, a person who doesn't have a job because he's just too damn lazy to get one...no.)

3. My man must have a wonderful relationship with God and his family.

4. My man must be respectful, caring, faithful and sincere.

5. My man must love kids (and want to have some of our own).

6. My man must be happy with who he is.

7. My man must not be on the "down-low" or gay (for obvious reasons).

8. My man must have goals/ambitions and work hard to achieve them.

Is that too much to ask?

No. It's not.

In no particular order, these are the things I expect from whoever I end up dating/marrying.  These are things that are important to me.  Everyone, in order to have a successful relationship, in my opinion, must know first, what they want out of one.

I'd rather be single, than miserable with some loser just because "I really want to be in a relationship." (Remember the time I said I don't condone desperation?)

Exactly.

Comments

[Nathan McClain]

I enjoy your blog posts and please know that this is not meant to enrage or inflame but just to enlighten. Forgive me but I tend to write better when writing in the first person:
http://sgtmcclain.net/2009/06/response-to-%e2%80%9csorry-i-have-standards%e2%80%9d-statussingle/?utm_campaign=UA-9331351-1%20&utm_medium=twitter&utm_source=twitter

[E2D2....]

Its not too much... I say, You want what you want... and you deserve it. Its not anything that you demand that you dont have yourself.

[Single'nMinglin']

@E2D2 Thanks, I didn't think it was too much either, that's why I was a bit bothered by what my co-worker said...maybe more surprised than anything. And, of course, I wouldn't want anyone to feel like they were settling for me either. Here's to not lowering our expectations! :)